Saturday, January 16, 2010
Changes we have seen :)
Food: When we first had the kids they ate a lot and all day long. Even after eating they might take what was left over with them back to the orphanage plus a banana. I took juice and food with us wherever we went and usually they ate it all. There was no real hording but there was definitely over eating. We had been told to let them eat even to the point that they got sick. They never got sick!!
Now they wake and eat a light breakfast of fruit or cereal before they take their medications. Usually they drink tea in the morning - we have become a family who likes tea!! They do not usually eat until lunch which used to be their biggest meal. We will eat Borchst or some soup, sandwiches - open face, fruit and maybe some nuts or sunflower seeds. They will take a rest for about an hour - this was the usual routine in the orphanage and we see the profit of it! They will eat a mid afternoon snack of sunflower seeds or fruit or sausage- "cal-ba-soo". Then a regular dinner with maybe or maybe not a snack before bed. No hiding of food but if they want to save a sandwich know that they intend to eat it later.
We find that the major serious fights between them occur about sunflower seeds and money!! They hid their money from each other. This is so like siblings. I remember this with our kids. They even find secret places to put their money so that the other one will not know where it is.
Tempers: We found that there must not be much discipline in the orphanage. I really cannot understand how the kids survive..again the survival mode. We have seen that they got their way even about school if they threw a tantrum. The bigger the tantrum the more they are NOT made to obey. However we do know that some of the caregivers have used belts to discipline so I think that the extremes are found there.
So when we first would tell them "no" we knew there would be a full blown tantrum that lasted 1-2 hours. We took them into separate rooms and prayed, sang hymns and worked through the tempers until they cooled down. Then they obeyed. We have found that the longer we have had them the shorter the tantrums. Only 1 or 2 were hours long. As they have determined that we mean business and we are not going to back down even if it means hours, they in return are obeying quicker. Even today I had a disagreement with Christina. I told her to get dressed, she said "no". So we went into the room. There was no throwing things, no yelling and we quickily worked through it. Now we do have communicate conflicts. So if it gets major I called a friend - sounds like Wanna be a Millionaire?! I do not want conflicts that are not understood. So we take it on step at a time.
Even as I am writing this we have had a 45 minute conflict which has ended with "Mama, I am sorry". However I cannot discern real repentance. She just got tired of arguing in the bedroom. She had to stay in the bed 10 minutes, then look at me and say, "Mama, I am sorry."
We have been able to allow the kids to return to the skating rink after almost 2 weeks when we had a major blow out upon being told "no". We have explained and they know for they ask every couple days if they can skate. Their behavior has improved to the point that we told them we would go today. We told them we would do 3 things: ice skate for 45 minutes, bumper cars and shoot guns. When we were finished we walked to the magazine with only one question and when we counted the 3 things that we did, all was well. The pictures are of today's skating and fun!
I truely would have wanted in "Leslie's plan" to have returned asap. However God's plan has allowed us to attend to behavioral issues on a 24-7 basis that would not have been possible at home in the States with Dan leaving for work. Again as always His plan is for our best.
"Ok, Lord, what do you want us to learn by allowing us to stay longer without passports?" Maybe we will know and maybe it will be awhile before we figure that one out!
Sergei, our facilitator, left yesterday. He is a dear friend and helped us work through the adoption process. He successfully got the process completed. He cannot control the passport office. He will still be letting us know about when our passports come in or checking on it. He will not be here but at his home. Pictures are of our going away lunch with him. We took him to an Irish pub. He had never had fish and chips, I am not sure these were original but he had them!
At this point we have no new information about when we will get the passports. Please continue to pray for us to be patiently waiting for the Lord!
In Him alone,
Leslie
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We are a group of several Christian families here in Kiev and would like to connect with you if possible, we are in the same boat as you with the passport issues trying to get back home to the USA. I am the person who took your picture for you and your family in the Odessa Passport office.
ReplyDeleteOur number is +380-99-343-89-30
We are at home waiting our ten day wait. My husband returns to finish the paperwork this coming weekend. We're praying fervently about the passport situation for you (and us!!). We know how the delays and setbacks can be so agonizing. It's good that you could focus on some parenting while you are there - another example of God using something bad for His good and yours. We will keep lifting you up!
ReplyDeleteDan and Leslie,
ReplyDeleteJust know we are praying for your situation daily! I can't wait to meet the new Edwards!
The Mumms