Some of the new things that we have seen with the kids.
They have never played by themselves. We have about an hour after lunch for rest time. They play quietly in their rooms. Mostly they listen to music. Kolya has discovered how to play without anyone. He has learned to play and make things with legos and built a garage for all the match box cars that he has inherited from Jake who inherited from Jim and Stuart. It has taken awhile. At first he would just rearrange his room. Then he started playing with all the cars. Now the legos came out and he is playing. Even though he always complains about the rest time, he is the one that truly plays by himself.
Christina started to play with a lego play house. This was one that was in the attic from Erin. She said that she did not have anything to play with during the rest time so one afternoon I got it down and showed her how to play and set it up. I would ask her where to put the sofa or the sink. She could name the room it belonged in but she did not know how to pick which room to make into the kitchen. It took us the full hour to clean and set it up. Then she and Kolya played with it for another hour. Kolya loved it and got out the other legos. He then built the garage. Christina then lost interest. She has gone back to listening to music and eating sunflower seeds during rest time.
She has wanted to skate since we were in Odessa and the kids ice skated. I looked deep in the garage and found Jake's old inline skates. Perfect fit and she is off! She did not do well on the scooter that Kolya is zooming up and down our street on. But now she is zooming up and down the street on skates. She does the best on the walking trail around the baseball fields. The walking track is level and we went around and around for about 1 hour today. I walk with Haley, our dog, Christina is on skates and Kolya is on the scooter. They have to stay within eye viewing of me. They like to get ahead and hide but I had to explain that it is dangerous for them if Mama can't see them. Today they were great and stayed within sight all the time.
School is slow but sure. We try to do at least some school every day - Mon-Fri. There are so many doctor visits right now that some days we only do one or two things.
Stuart saw the kids when they first arrived over 1 month ago. He came to visit again yesterday and could tell the difference with the language. Their command and understanding of the converstations is great. They just cannot always communicate to us.
Just tonight after I had prayed with Kolya, was trying to tell me something about blue sky, sun, clouds, face, Jesus. Around and around we went. He even drew a picture of the sun, blue sky with a cloud and a face in the cloud. The word sounded like neighbor, or neighbook. Finally I figured out that he was saying that Jesus was up in heaven. The word was the Russian word for heaven. He knew that Jesus had ascended into heaven and that Jesus is in heaven!!!
If it is really serious and important to them and after several frustrating attempts to understand we call our friend, Anya. But normally we can draw, act it out and use the Russian dictionary to figure out what is going on. On medical details we get together with Anya.
We went to the dentist, which could have been a great time of fear. Most dental care in Ukraine for orphans is pulling teeth without anesthesia. So I followed Lauri Taunton's suggestion. Jake went in first and the kids watched everything that happened to Jake. Then they got their teeth cleaned, xrayed and examined. The results are that all 3 went to the orthodontist. Kolya needs 2 baby teeth pulled - the teeth are half the correct size because of decay -and 2 adult molar filled. Then will need spacers to hold the teeth in place until his adult teeth come in. He is having them out next week and then the spacer the next week. Christina has 1 tooth to be pulled as it is a baby tooth that is in front of an adult tooth that has already come out. She also has 2 baby teeth that have small cavities that will need to be filled not pulled. Jake has crowded teeth and needs braces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!
After the dentist appointment without Anya, we went to her house so that I could tell Christina and Kolya what was coming up. Both seem fine and loved the orthodonist, who is from our church and had already met the kids. We will see how the teeth being pulled next week goes :) !
Many, many people have brought us food. Thank you, thank you! After a particularly hard day of dealing with school and behavioral problems, I am so thankful NOT to have to think about what to cook for dinner. I thank you all so much as I know many of you are also praying for us daily!!
In Him Alone,
Leslie
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
After many requests I will try to blog again!
Many friends and family have asked how we are doing and the answer is that we are fine. Does that mean everything is smooth - NO!!
Yesterday, after a couple of hard days, Dan gave me the whole afternoon off. I did not know what to do. I went to Target, ran some errands and then went to a movie - Percy Jackson, etc. I was very tired, depressed and deeply depressed. I was wondering what we had gotten ourselves into, was I going to be able to make this, my love for the kids was there but the desire to be with them was not there. Then I lost my keys to the car. After much searching and calling Dan, the customer service desk at the theater had them. Driving home after a half day off, I was almost in tears of depression. I had been praying all day off and on but I was praying with great despair. God brought to mind the verse that I have the power of God, the power that raised Christ from the dead, within me. Not me, not my positive mind, not all the pep talk, but the Holy Spirit. I realized that Satan had been lying to me all day and I had been listening. I greatly rejoiced to hear and realize anew that God was the power, He is the only way I can make it and He has been the One doing it all this time. I had taken my eyes off the cross. Immediately I felt a lightening of my chest and my depression was gone. I returned home still tired but with a joy in my heart.
After all that you may ask what has been happening, well, here is the truth. Adopting 2 is harder than adopting 1. We knew this going in but still it is hard. But as I sit here, which one - Christina or Kolya - would I return?!??? The answer is neither. They are my children - good or tough times.
The first week was a breeze. The honeymoon time. Having fun exploring their new lives, family and environment. Even school was new and fun.
Second week- the limits were tested, rejected and tested again. Phones were put up, keys to cars are now put up, passwords on computer, etc. It was like 2 toddlers trying out all the limits at once. What can we do, touch, explore and what are you going to do about it! School was no longer new and the old orphanage school was forgotten. No school was declared many times this 2nd week!
3rd week - was the week of rebellion - nothing held back. Spitting, biting, opening doors on moving cars, no seatbelts, etc. This was a very tough week. Many positive going forwards after the testing but each battle was so draining.
Dan finally verbalized what he was seeing. Christina's default is to say "no!" and say it loudly. That is like a red flag in my face. But if I do not react and just move forward then generally she will do what I ask. This is not how I work with kids. This IS now how I work! It is working and today was much smoother. In fact there was not one major behavorial issue. There were several no's but we just went on. This is not giving into her but working around her. She needs to be gently lead to obey. I was trying to shove her to obey.
Kolya was even beginning to act the same way as he saw that Christina was getting all attention. So we started showing more attention to him in good ways. Making sure he had all our attention at times. He has certainly responded positively to this.
As you can tell, today, Sunday, has been a good day. Tomorrow may not be good but we will move forward. I know that Dan and I can do this, love Christina and Kolya, bring them into a family relationship and share the gospel of Christ with them. We can do this because God is so big, so good, and this is His plan. How delighted we are that He has allowed us to be part of their lives.
So far we have had a 4-5 hour visit at the International Adoption Clinic - lots of lab work done, good results, pediatrician visit with H1N1 shot, Tb test - negative, and then meeting with the specialist at UAB for their first visit and flu shot. The test shows that their immune systems are doing so well that no change of medication will be made at this time. This week we have dental visits. Jake is having his check up first and then Christina and Kolya will have their dental visits. We also have a eye doctor apt. and an hearing test apt. Then on the 22nd of Feb we will be doing developmental and speech testing for over 5 hours. With 2 it is takes longer. So we are keeping the medical community busy.
Our friend, Anya, has gone to all the appointments so far as our interpretor and friend. She has really made it less frightening for the kids and all the visits have gone well.
Thanks for continuing to pray for us. We need it every day! There is so much that is going well: sleeping through the night - no nightmares, no bedwetting! Bonding - they love to be held and cuddled, rocked and loved! Both kids love Jake and seem to be adjusting well to family life. Eating: they both like a lot of foods - no spicy foods yet but they are trying. Anya has given me some hints on favorite foods so that has helped also. They love our dog, Haley! That really was a concern that they would be scared of her, or mean to her. However they love her, play with her, feed her and argue over whose room she will sleep in at night.
In Him Alone,
Leslie
Yesterday, after a couple of hard days, Dan gave me the whole afternoon off. I did not know what to do. I went to Target, ran some errands and then went to a movie - Percy Jackson, etc. I was very tired, depressed and deeply depressed. I was wondering what we had gotten ourselves into, was I going to be able to make this, my love for the kids was there but the desire to be with them was not there. Then I lost my keys to the car. After much searching and calling Dan, the customer service desk at the theater had them. Driving home after a half day off, I was almost in tears of depression. I had been praying all day off and on but I was praying with great despair. God brought to mind the verse that I have the power of God, the power that raised Christ from the dead, within me. Not me, not my positive mind, not all the pep talk, but the Holy Spirit. I realized that Satan had been lying to me all day and I had been listening. I greatly rejoiced to hear and realize anew that God was the power, He is the only way I can make it and He has been the One doing it all this time. I had taken my eyes off the cross. Immediately I felt a lightening of my chest and my depression was gone. I returned home still tired but with a joy in my heart.
After all that you may ask what has been happening, well, here is the truth. Adopting 2 is harder than adopting 1. We knew this going in but still it is hard. But as I sit here, which one - Christina or Kolya - would I return?!??? The answer is neither. They are my children - good or tough times.
The first week was a breeze. The honeymoon time. Having fun exploring their new lives, family and environment. Even school was new and fun.
Second week- the limits were tested, rejected and tested again. Phones were put up, keys to cars are now put up, passwords on computer, etc. It was like 2 toddlers trying out all the limits at once. What can we do, touch, explore and what are you going to do about it! School was no longer new and the old orphanage school was forgotten. No school was declared many times this 2nd week!
3rd week - was the week of rebellion - nothing held back. Spitting, biting, opening doors on moving cars, no seatbelts, etc. This was a very tough week. Many positive going forwards after the testing but each battle was so draining.
Dan finally verbalized what he was seeing. Christina's default is to say "no!" and say it loudly. That is like a red flag in my face. But if I do not react and just move forward then generally she will do what I ask. This is not how I work with kids. This IS now how I work! It is working and today was much smoother. In fact there was not one major behavorial issue. There were several no's but we just went on. This is not giving into her but working around her. She needs to be gently lead to obey. I was trying to shove her to obey.
Kolya was even beginning to act the same way as he saw that Christina was getting all attention. So we started showing more attention to him in good ways. Making sure he had all our attention at times. He has certainly responded positively to this.
As you can tell, today, Sunday, has been a good day. Tomorrow may not be good but we will move forward. I know that Dan and I can do this, love Christina and Kolya, bring them into a family relationship and share the gospel of Christ with them. We can do this because God is so big, so good, and this is His plan. How delighted we are that He has allowed us to be part of their lives.
So far we have had a 4-5 hour visit at the International Adoption Clinic - lots of lab work done, good results, pediatrician visit with H1N1 shot, Tb test - negative, and then meeting with the specialist at UAB for their first visit and flu shot. The test shows that their immune systems are doing so well that no change of medication will be made at this time. This week we have dental visits. Jake is having his check up first and then Christina and Kolya will have their dental visits. We also have a eye doctor apt. and an hearing test apt. Then on the 22nd of Feb we will be doing developmental and speech testing for over 5 hours. With 2 it is takes longer. So we are keeping the medical community busy.
Our friend, Anya, has gone to all the appointments so far as our interpretor and friend. She has really made it less frightening for the kids and all the visits have gone well.
Thanks for continuing to pray for us. We need it every day! There is so much that is going well: sleeping through the night - no nightmares, no bedwetting! Bonding - they love to be held and cuddled, rocked and loved! Both kids love Jake and seem to be adjusting well to family life. Eating: they both like a lot of foods - no spicy foods yet but they are trying. Anya has given me some hints on favorite foods so that has helped also. They love our dog, Haley! That really was a concern that they would be scared of her, or mean to her. However they love her, play with her, feed her and argue over whose room she will sleep in at night.
In Him Alone,
Leslie
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